Powershell wasted 10 hours of my life, so I was compelled to write this self-therapy session masquerading as a blog post.
Before you discount my experience as the inane ravings of a UNIX fanboy, please understand that you couldn't be further from the truth. I sincerely tried to be fair and gave Powershell as much benefit of the doubt as I could muster.
Disclaimer aside, let's begin the descent into madness.